December 8, 2006

Lately, we've been trying to work with Aidan on good decision making skills. He has befriended a "bad boy" in school and for awhile was getting in trouble on a daily basis. We tried to talk him into choosing a different friend, but realized quickly that that wasn't an option for Aidan. So, Paul and I decided that we were going to focus on good decision making skills at home. Each time Aidan makes a good decision, we point it out to him and praise him.

Today, in Catholisism, is Immaculate Conception. Paul went to church during his lunch hour. I was going to go to mass by myself tonight, but Aidan was really clingy right before I left. So, I thought it would be nice for us to go together. Knowing that he wasn't going to want to leave the house (he usually isn't one for going out once we are settled in for the evening), I had a plan. I told him that it was going to be a special treat for just him and I. We would listen to Christmas carols in the car, go to mass, look at all of the Christmas lights that we pass on the way and then stop at McDonald's for a chocolate milk shake afterwards. Well, the evening pretty much went downhill from there. He was thilled at the idea of the chocolate milk shake, but didn't want to go to mass. He instead wanted me to go to mass by myself and then bring him a milk shake afterwards. It was such a struggle to talk him into going to mass that I felt guilty about making him go. I knew that, for him, it wasn't about NOT going to mass, but instead it was about leaving the house where his intentions to wrestle daddy were high.

I put my decision making activity into action. I explained his choices (which at this point came across more like bribery) and he chose mass and the milk shake. Even though I knew it was the chocolate milk shake he was after, I was really excited about spending the next hour or so with Aidan. Well when we got in the car, he wanted to watch his video instead of listening to Christmas carols. Since I just battled it out with him about going on the trip, I decided to let him watch the video instead of arguing all the way to church about the carols...which also meant that I was alone in my Christmas light watching as well. For when I pointed out the first fully loaded house, Aidan's response was (without removing his eyes from the screen), "Uh Huh." I thought, Oh Well, the important this is that we're going to mass together. I'll settle for that. I pull into a parking spot and turn off the car. Aidan starts crying immediately. When I ask him what was wrong, he answers, "I didn't want to go to this church." (We are in the middle of changing churches and Aidan is having a little trouble with the transition.) I convince him to stop crying and drag him into church with a tear stained face. Aidan doesn't really act badly in church, but he doesn't act his normal self either. He pretty much layed on the pew and was quiet. However, I expected him to say the prayers and participate. Afterall, Hail Mary is one of the prayers he is great at. Throughout the first three quarters of mass, I find myself lost in thought growing more aggravated by the minute at his behavior. It wasn't until the petitions when the reader says, "for all of the expectant parents, may they cherish this advent season and the anticipation...." It hit me like a ton of bricks. Although I am not an expectant parent, I needed to focus on the season and this hour that I am spending with my son, who I once waited in anticipation and prepared so long for. I look down at Aidan, who is laying sprawled out on the pew. It IS 7:45pm and he has had a long day, too. I am going to forget about the laying on the pew for now and thank God for giving me my son. I am so blessed to have Aidan in my life. He is TRULY a great little boy and I am proud to be his mom.

After mass, the elderly lady sitting behind me, who must have noticed my frustration during mass, leaned over to me and said, "Cherish every minute with your beautiful son. They are a treasure to raise." Tears welled up in my eyes as I muttered a Thank You....she was so right!

On the way out of mass:
Aidan: (looking up at me )"Was I a good boy, mom?"
Jenny: "Well, you weren't bad, but you knew those prayers, how come you didn't say them?"
Aidan: "I was tired mom....can we go for a milk shake now?"
Jenny: "you bet we can buddy. You bet we can!"
Aidan: (reaches up for my hand to cross the street) "I love you, mom."

As I sit here writing this, I can't help but think that the elderly lady sitting behind us was an angel.